I cried out to my God, and I asked him why? What is it that you want from me, what is it that I must do that I haven't, and why will you not release the financial blessing? It is you who is orchestrating it, because it is far too complex a plan for it to be anyone else. You didn't have to do it yourself even, because you allowed free will to have it's way. Just a tweak here or a nudge there, and the people involved go about doing exactly what they were supposed to do. So you did nothing directly, you just allowed it to happen. I know, my thoughts are not your thoughts and all, but I wish you would go about reversing things, and end my financial woes!
Pardon the interruption, though you probably sensed no change at all? But this part is many hours from the first part? The beginning is from the morning, where this part is being written tonight, while my Youtube post plays in the background. I really put it up, just to drown out the noise and the distractions? But I think that for now, that prayer is better left unfinished? So anyway, I am finally going to do something just for me, for me, and me alone! I think that I deserve a break, even though so many others disagree. But I'm still not where I want to be yet, and I hope that another shoe doesn't drop? Road block after road block was placed in my way, but I have made it this far, and come hell or high water, I am going to see this through! It's such a small thing really, having nothing to do with my bigger problems. But it has become important to me, as at least this once, I want to have my plans work out, something has got to go my way? The larger things? I've given up trying to break free of this electronic box, so that I can go about earning a living. Ultimately, it is God who decides whether or not I prosper, and up to this point, he has decided that I should not? But hope springs eternal! I have asked others to help me and give me a hand up, but for whatever their reasons, they decided not to? But again, though they may well have made that decision to not help, they could do nothing to me that God does not allow, so in reality, it is him I should be pissed at? But as you might imagine, getting mad at God, never works out too well! Apparently, He has decided, to use the situations and the people involved, to test me to the breaking point! Sort of like a 21st century Job? But unlike Job, I have no livestock to kill, and thank God, all of my children are alive and well! For me, he has blessed me with a talent, and he made me a writer. And even though I have always done all that I knew how to do, to communicate what it is that he would have me say, still, he holds back the financial blessing? But as frustrating as that is, the thing that frustrates me the most, is the fact that no one ever comments on what it is that I write?
I have no way of really knowing, how many people read my stuff? But I do know that there is a lot of it to read. With all of the articles, posts, short stories, paragraphs and comments that I have written over the years, you would think that some one would have broken through whatever filters they have on me, and commented on something? Can you see how frustrating something like that would be?
Frustrated, confused, lonely and broke! Whata ya think, do you think I'm due for a break?
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