Sunday, April 21, 2019
Thursday, April 18, 2019
HAPPY EASTER!
Me myself and I has rightly been called the trinity of ignorance. But in truth, that old adage is only partly correct. Because in reality, the trio is really a duet. All of us who call the Lord our Father, are a true trio, but only two of the three are capable of stupidity. As Christians, each of us is now me myself and Jesus. Let me explain using myself as the example.
Andrew is the level headed one, and it is he who understands and uses wisdom only to promote good things. Andrews goal is to enlighten people wherever he goes. Now Edward, aka. Ed, has the same wellspring of wisdom available to him, but can be quick to anger, because of his frustration with those who cannot see the truth. Don't get me wrong, by the world's standards, he isn't a bad guy. Quick witted and funny, he uses humor as a way to soften hard truths. But sometimes, when not even a subtle touch succeeds, his anger rises and he kicks needlessly against the heavy timbers. When humor fails as a buffer even, Ed is incapable of leaving the situation alone. Kicking at the goads is a like beating yourself in the head with a brick, because it feels so good when you stop. And of course, anger left untended often leads to rage.
Jesus of course is the constant voice of reason between the two, and it is he who is the source of all knowledge. In essence, Jesus is the head of the body, because as he himself has said, I am the way the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father unless through me. So remember him on this Sunday, because on Friday he was killed on the cross to be able to offer eternal peace, and having risen from that grave, death is defeated, and so, is of no consequence to those who are his. He was last seen ascending back into heaven, having completed his act of total love in this world.
So in conclusion, speaking now in Christianese, Andrew represents my soul, and Edward my flesh. My flesh desires the pleasures of this life, my soul needs the food of the Spirit. And as for Jesus, he is there, always to guide us. To guide us and watch. You see, there is still the matter of free will, and the one we feed the most will become the stronger. So choose this day which one you will serve, as by exercising your free will, you decide your own fate. In my case, if I choose Andrew to feed the most, I will live forever, but if I choose Edward, then this life is all there is. Happy Easter.
Friday, April 12, 2019
Thursday, April 11, 2019
Tested Truths: Hygiene Hijinks
Tested Truths: Hygiene Hijinks: So, a little personal fact about my daily cleansing procedures that you need not know, but I'll tell you anyway, as it helps to set t...
Hygiene Hijinks
So, a little personal fact about my daily cleansing procedures that you need not know, but I'll tell you anyway, as it helps to set the scene. (insert mentioned fact. I must shower every day. The details as to why are not family rated). The weather too, what does that have to do with bathroom usage? Again, nothing. other than, it being a cold Spring day when yesterday hit 71, is an adjustment. Now I can see that without this being a filmed skit, things are limited. But one more fact that helps set the condition of the comedic story, assuming of course that I get there?
So I'm in the bathroom busy stripping down to my birthday suit, my all together.. I'm naked! Its chilly, so I immediately turned on the shower upon reaching underwear level, to have the steam help warm the room. While removing my unmentionables, my big toe gets tangled in my underpants leaving me to hop around on the now damp tile floor. Finally, I get control before a toppling occurs, and the remaining T shirt comes off without a hitch. Finally I think, I can get in to the soothing warmth of the shower. Pull back the shower curtain, and shit! no soap. I knew I should have replaced it after my last shower I think to myself, until I vocally tell myself to Shut Up! So now the hunt for the soap. Under the vanity sink, there is a two pack of boxed Dial soap. Not just soap, but have you ever struggled with a clear plastic wrapping on any product? It is no simple task, especially in a now steam filled bathroom. And when you put your glasses on to see the little corner piece on the cellophane bindings, you only discover that your glasses are now fogged shut. Now I'm getting angry, which only makes things worse. So then, I'm cussing the guy out who invented the packaging. While mind you, while, I'm working furiously to release the two boxes of soap! Maybe I can get a better grip this way? Nope! Stupid ass soap I say, Damn it! No matter, I can't get it off. Cut it, I'll cut it off I think. Scissors, tweezers? where the hell? Rifling through the draw, I finally wind up using some kind of forceps, as my scissors are for cutting nose and ear hair, (don't laugh, it'll get you too), but they have little balls on the ends, to protect those sensitive areas. FINALLY! I get the cellophane wrapping off, and the two boxes fall to the floor and scatter in the now thick fog? AAaaag!
Prologue: I'm freshly showered and clean. Look good, check, deodorant, smell good, check. Feeling much better? check. TA DA, I'm me again.
Hygiene Hijinks
Coming soon from a screen near you.. Comedy hopefully.. to or from, which one works best?
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