The horrors of my Life

  Lately on TV, I have been watching the Waltons, and it took me back to a time that I would rather forget? During this time, I had a lot of time for TV, as I was at home coping with yet another run. More specifically, it was during those times directly after another cold turkey attempt. I was physically drained, and spiritually dead! Each attempt at rehabbing at home, was a little different? In this one, I had already beaten the physical pain, but was just coming to grips with the self doubt and hatred which always followed! It is a time of self reflection, and it is a time when you have no where else to go? You are empty and alone at times like these. Even those who love you no longer know how?
  I would read a lot during these times, usually bible accounts. That, and whatever else caught my eye?
But on TV, I gravitated toward shows like The Waltons, and Little House on the Prarie. These shows relaxed me, and were a welcome respite from what had become the horrors of my life! During these times, you feel desparately alone, and it was during a time like this, that I first met Jesus! He healed me by telling me things like, It's alright my son, you are forgiven? As much as I needed to believe it, my first reaction was to reject it? When he said that I am forgiven, I said to him, I am what? How can this be? Do you know what I've done, do you know about the schemes that I have played? And do you know about the lives that I threw away? Me? never me!
  Now you can nix this off as just the luck of the draw, but it is so much more then that! Although it was his will all along, it was only when my will met his, just at that precise moment in time when, Pow Pop Crack and Kaboom, I met God!